Music, Life, Magic

I would give a lot to be intimate with one person in my life. She and I mix well and I want to explore the closeness of our bodies, as if we are connected, both mentally and physically. I have yet to experience such a strong bond.

If you’re gonna toy with me, at least replace my fucking batteries once in a while.

Love is complicated. I feel for everyone that deals with the downs of being with someone. One day it will get better, sweety. You know you are beautiful and stimulating. Fuck who messes with you. Btw, I’m back to being single. Some things seem so good at first, but I have learned that picking a partner requires more time and more energy. I hope to find my love soon. This past week had showed me just how immature people can be emotionally. I feel like people don’t appreciate the time they get to spend with a nice person. I tried to be the unusually nice guy who just cares about the moment, but it doesn’t work. So here is a toast to everyone that uses people to gain popularity and manipulate. Way to go, douchebag guys. This drink is for you.

Sex is a beautiful bonding activity between two individuals. The act of sex involves the individuals coming face to face with passion and pleasure. However, as wonderful as sex is, it should not be taken lightly.
People wander aimlessly through life going from bone to bone. I can’t do that. I would rather grow with a person sexually than to have mindless sex. It disappoints me that I can’t find someone that attracts me completely, anymore. I want to be so open, both mentally and physically. I can’t help the way I feel. If I were shallow, I’d say go fuck everything….but I’m not. Maybe one day, I can have more than a fuck buddy. I just want sex to be a subcategory of a RELATIONSHIP. I don’t want to focus on sex as a defining activity. Maybe I am rambling. Maybe I’m honest.

We are but a speck, putting time into an infinite universe. In the end, the conscious mind battles itself to try to acquire and answer. The answer, however, is not equation. It is the fact that we live, and living is all we ever need. And that is all I plan to do.

I’m sorting out my problems over the next couple of weeks. I do not want to cut any cords with people I like to be around. Some people have doomed my relationship with them by using hurtful insults and false rumors. I don’t have time for that. I’m getting my emotions straight for who I like and who I want to be. It’s nice to mature from freshman to senior year.
I have surrounded myself with wonderful people. My friends are my ultimate antidepressant. I love them all.
I deejayed for the first time last Saturday. I winged it and the set turned out to be flawless. It was so fun. I haven’t felt the thrill of performing in so long! I got the opportunity to Dj at an after party for Byrd’s Prom. I’m going to be throwing down all night. Hopefully, with the next few gigs, I can establish my name around town and maybe even get spots in shows in Arkansas or Texas. I’m just working hard.
Right now, my love life is turning around. I’ve found someone that interests me in the top degree. She has a lot to say and likes to adventure and enjoys wonderful music. She’s trekked through bullshit in life that I have. I really enjoy her. The weekend I’ve had was nothing short of perfect. I can not wait to escape again.
That’s all that my life has been for now. Sorry for the poor english, but I never focus on grammar when I’m typing a stream of consciousness paper.

If there is one thing I’ve learned from the past few days.
Paper plates never hold as well as plastic trays
The sun dress girl told me all of this
While saying that everything should be hit or miss.